It's Confusing
Fandom: Winnie the Pooh (Disney)
Ship: Tigger/Rabbit
Word Count: 3,358
Warnings: None
The Hundred Acre Wood was beginning to feel the effects of winter at last. The trees were bear and what grass lived was smothered by frost morning to night. Tigger could feel the cold through his fur as he bounced along the path that lead to Rabbit's. Winter was upon them now. Even he couldn't deny it any longer. If it got too bad this year he might be trapped in his tree top home. He had been visiting Rabbit every day for the past two weeks so the thought of sudden separation wasn't sitting well with him. He wrapped his arms around himself and shivered as he came to a stop. Someone was appearing over the hill a few feet away from him.
"Pooh Bear." Tigger whispered with a grin as he waddled closer.
He felt the undeniable urge to pounce the unsuspecting bear but suddenly something strange came over him. He felt the muscles in his legs coil in preparation for the leap but when he tried to execute his signature pounce nothing happened. His muscles relaxed and he just watched as he approached. They exchanged a few words. Pooh was on his way back from Piglet's. Tigger was heading for Rabbit's. The cold kept their conversation short and they were on their way once again. Tigger kicked a rock as he set off down the familiar old path.
He didn't understand what was going on with him lately. It was as though he didn't want to pounce anyone if he couldn't pounce Rabbit. And he couldn't pounce Rabbit if he wanted to stay in his good graces. He knew this but it didn't make him feel any better. There was something strange about feeling that way. Something that felt wrong to him. Why did the high strung, old bunny make him feel something so foreign and frightening? He paused once again beside a tree.
From where he stood he could see straight through the forest to Rabbit's house. He expected to see him out in his garden as usual but it was too cold for that. There were no vegetables growing there to tend. Rabbit was inside his warm home waiting for Tigger to visit. At least Tigger hoped he was waiting. He put a paw to the tree and stared for a moment, trying his hardest to ignore the cold. For all he knew his visits were bothering Rabbit. His visits were beginning to bother Tigger himself in a way. He turned from Rabbit's home and sighed. Maybe it was best he didn't go today.
As he turned away and headed home Rabbit stood from the chair he had been sitting in as though he sensed the young tiger's presence. He went to the door slowly and winced as the cold wind hit him. He looked about his garden for a spot of orange that might be trying to hide from him but upon seeing nothing returned to the comfort of his living room. He sighed as he settled back in his chair. Tigger was usually here by now but it was getting colder. He might have stayed home. He wasn't obligated to come after all. He returned to the book he had been struggling to read with his limited literary skills but found it strangely difficult to concentrate. Lack of concentration made it nearly impossible for someone of his reading level to continue for long. He gave it up after a few moments and decided to clean as he waited.
Hours passed as he cleansed every possible crevice in his home but when the sun began to set he had to accept that Tigger wasn't coming at all. He climbed into bed slowly and pulled the covers over his aching bones. The winter chill was a nightmare on his joints. However he had a little something to preoccupy his mind as he tried to find sleep tonight. He didn't think much of the pain. He thought of Tigger instead. He wondered why he had suddenly decided not to visit. Could it have been that he grew tired of behaving himself? Maybe he just needed to spend a day letting out all his pent up energy. He was slightly satisfied with this theory and it made his sleep easier.
Tigger wasn't so lucky. He stayed awake all night, trying to work through his sudden confusion. It had been so simple at first. He wanted to be Rabbit's best friend. The way Piglet was Pooh's. He had suddenly wanted that closeness with the older animal. Tigger's closest friend in the Hundred Acre Wood was Roo but it wasn't the same. Roo was just a child and as childish as Tigger was he couldn't deny the need for an older companion. He wanted a stronger, closer relationship with Rabbit. He hadn't thought much of it at the time but he was going through a lot to gain Rabbit's approval. Why had he felt the need to go through the bother this caused? Why did the urge to please him suddenly burn so strongly in his veins? He sighed loudly as he threw his covers off and hung half way off his hammock. This would take some time to sort through. More time than he had thought it would.
How could something so simple become so complicated so quickly? He didn't understand his own feelings anymore and he wasn't the most insightful person in the Hundred Acre Wood. He wasn't as easily in touch with his feelings as some of the wiser creatures might have been in the same situation. Or maybe he only thought this. It was possible that whatever he was feeling could stump the most intelligent of them. Maybe he should try to ask someone smarter. Someone like Owl. He thought on this long into the night but fell into the darkness of sleep before making up his mind.
Rabbit awoke the next day to await Tigger's visit again. He had suddenly found the new, calm Tigger's presence refreshing. He wasn't the most popular resident of the Hundred Acre Wood and before Tigger's visits he was mostly alone. Now he was somewhat dependent on them. They gave him something to look forward to everyday. They gave him a better reason to get up in the morning especially during the winter when he didn't have his garden to keep him occupied. However as the day passed he began to dread that he wouldn't come again. As the day progressed he became more apprehensive.
Rabbit decided to waited outside after a few hours. The brisk air hit him as he stepped outside and he shivered briefly. He crossed his arms as he stood in front of his door, staring out over the bridge that crossed his small creek. Surely Tigger was coming today. At the very least to apologize for being absent yesterday. But then maybe that was expecting too much too soon. A few weeks of close friendship could be easily broken for someone with Tigger's attention span. Rabbit watched as the sun set beyond the horizon, lighting the trail that his eyes never left. He wasn't coming again today.
Tigger had decided to see Rabbit that day. He wasn't getting any closer to discovering the strange meaning behind his actions regarding the old rabbit but he missed him. He bounced determinedly down the path, ignoring those he met along the way. He passed Eeyore without a word but the melancholy donkey didn't seem affected by it. He only stopped when he reached the tree with Rabbit's house in plain sight. This made him think again and he suddenly became afraid that seeing Rabbit would only complicate his thoughts. Maybe he should spend some more time thinking while his mind was still clear. He sighed as he turned away again, shaking his head sadly.
Rabbit's ears perked up suddenly as he thought he saw movement over the horizon. Maybe that was him at last. He stood nearly on tip toe as he tried to catch a glimpse of him in the half-light of dusk. He was frozen to the core and he could feel a sting in his toes as he moved forward. However he didn't see anything and he lowered his ears as he turned from the chilled earth. He would be sick now. He knew he would. Why had he done something so ridiculous? He berated himself as he sat in his chair and stared at the wall in silent fury. Why had he done that for someone like Tigger? Was he that desperate and lonely? Would he feel the same had it been Pooh or Owl? That question haunted him for a few moments but he ignored the answer. He turned his head away from the wall and stared at the door instead.
"Stupid, rowdy...dangerous Tigger." he muttered. "What do I need him around for? To break my back?"
He stood and headed for bed, knocking a book off his table as he went. He didn't even want to think about it but as he laid under his covers he couldn't keep his mind off it. He tossed and turned all night as he tried to ignore the anger and disappointment he felt. He knew more so than Tigger what he was feeling but he hated himself for it. And unlike Tigger he was simply trying to remain in a blissful state of denial. He fell asleep angry and he woke angry, coughing his lungs out. He blamed this on Tigger as he laid in bed weakly, staring out his window as it began to snow.
Another day passed with no sign of Tigger and Rabbit's cold only got worse. He was starting to have trouble getting out of bed the few times he needed to eat. All the while he cursed Tigger's absence. All the while he cursed Tigger's idiocy and youth and inconsiderate nature. By the time the sun had grown high in the sky he had cursed everything about Tigger down to his little toe. If he were to show up now Rabbit would force the little strength left out of his body in an attempt to throttle him.
Owl was rocking quietly in his chair with a book on his lap. He had long since stopped reading it. Something in the middle of chapter thirty-two had reminded him of a relative he hadn't seen in a long time. This made him slightly forlorn and lonely. Fortunately for him company came a'knocking suddenly and he nearly toppled out of his chair at the sound. He wasn't expecting any visitors until Spring but someone had braved the winds to reach his high home after all. He hurried to the door and opened it to reveal Tigger.
He invited him in and offered him tea. Had Tigger hesitated in explaining why he had come Owl probably would have began a lengthy anticdote about his great uncle Henry or his second cousin three times removed. Now he had some interesting stories though for the life of him Owl could never remember his name. The moment he began to speak of his relatives even Tigger knew to cut him off before he carried on forever.
"Owl, can you help me with something?" he asked quickly.
"Whatever with my young friend?" Owl asked, looking concerned.
"It's a little...odd." Tigger muttered.
He had wanted to ease into the conversation so he would have time to work it out in his mind first but Owl's rambling ways had made that an impossibility. Owl watched him as he ran a paw around the ring of his tea cup, looking very confused. He cleared his throat and rocked a few times as he waited for Tigger to speak again. He could manage to keep his beak shut when he knew it was important.
"I've been visiting Rabbit a lot lately." Tigger began again. "Ya know, every day. And I like it. We don't fight so much no more."
"Well, that doesn't sound like a problem to me!" Owl exclaimed. "Now my Aunt Rita-"
"That's not the problem!" he interrupted. "I mean, sorta... I like visiting Rabbit...too much. And I don't know why."
"Oh." Owl whispered, suddenly serious. "I see."
"You're the smartest guy around, right?" Tigger stated, gaining no argument from Owl. "I thought you might know."
Owl sat forward in his rocker with his wings beneath his beak. He seemed to be thinking and Tigger would give everything he owned to know where his train of thought was heading. Owl stood from his chair and crossed the room to stare at a line of books on his shelf, wings behind his back now. If he made Tigger wait any long he might throw himself from his house in frustration and end it all. Owl turned to him at last, having thought the delicate problem over as thoroughly as one who was not involved could.
"Well, Tigger." Owl started, causing Tigger to lean forward anxiously. "I do believe this is the sort of thing one should discover on their own."
Tigger sat back in his chair with a disappointed sigh and Owl dropped the feather he had been holding up to stare. He had expected Tigger to overreact to this response. It was in his nature to become upset over things that didn't go the way he'd wanted. This in no way disproved his suspicions. If anything it supported them. Tigger was falling in love with Rabbit. Owl was probably the only one to even understand the concept of one creature falling in love with another of the same gender. And if there was anyone else who did understand that it was Rabbit. The only question left on Owl's mind once Tigger had descended from his home was if Rabbit would feel the same for Tigger.
Rabbit woke in a haze the next day and groaned as he rolled over on his back, staring at his ceiling with a look of agony. He was stuffy, congested, had a headache, a fever and was more nauseous than he had ever been in his life. Luckily the nausea came and went unlike the ache that spread throughout his entire being and made mobility nearly impossible now. He coughed a few times as he tried to sit up. The effort of breathing itself made him cough. His lungs ached and he began to fear he had pneumonia.
"Bunny Boy?" a voice called from outside loudly.
He sat up and inhaled so suddenly that he began to cough in response to Tigger's call. Surely he had imagined that. But there were a few knocks after a moment. Since he was unable to answer Tigger took the liberty of letting himself in to make sure he was okay. By the time he had rushed to his side Rabbit's coughs had subsided and he just glared up at him. He wanted to finally blame Tigger for his illness face to face but then he would have to admit he had stood outside waiting for him. His glare eased into a strange look of doubt and confusion for a moment. It hardened again before Tigger could speak.
"Can't you see I'm sick? What do you want?"
Tigger seemed unable to speak as he stared down at the yellow hands resting against the sheets. He felt he should take one of them in his paw and speak. But what would he say? He didn't know how to put anything he had managed to realize over the past few days into words. He was still trying to make sense out of the situation himself. Besides, there was no certainty that Rabbit would appreciate the gesture. It might make him angry.
"To visit." he said, grinning half-heartedly. "I wanted to come over before but-"
"But you were too busy, huh? Well, good. I got some peace for once." Rabbit snapped.
Tigger felt a pain in his chest at his words. He had thought so but hearing it was a great deal harder than thinking it. He looked away as he put a paw on Rabbit's tiny hand. He stood slowly and walked over to close the door. He had left it ajar in his hurry. He thought about that feeling of panic that had shot through him at Rabbit's sporadic coughing. He held onto it for some reason. He gripped the door knob tightly as he felt it course through him. Then he turned back to Rabbit with the same care free grin as usual.
"Want some carrot soup, Long Ears?"
Rabbit's face lost all tension and dropped into a look of slight apology as he nodded. So, Tigger seemed to think he would make up for his previous absence by taking care of him while he was sick. Rabbit thought it was a very nice gesture and it was actually working but that didn't mean he had to be glad it was working. It didn't mean he had to let Tigger know it was working yet either. He ate his soup in silence as he ignored the very person he had been waiting for all along. Tigger just watched him as he slurped noisily.
The pain he had felt at Rabbit's false rejection had been completely devoured by the need to take care of his Long Ears. His Long Ears. That was a strange way to refer to Rabbit. He mulled it over in his mind as Rabbit ate but it didn't seem to bother him as much as it might have before their temporary separation. He seemed more eager to accept and explore each new feeling Rabbit caused in him now. He smiled as he watched Rabbit turn his bowl up to get the last of the pureed carrots from the bottom.
"What?" Rabbit demanded, noticing.
"Sorry, Bunny Boy."
"For what?"
"Not visiting. I was thinking."
"That's a surprise." Rabbit muttered, thrusting the empty bowl at him.
Tigger just took the bowl and turned it around in circles between his paws. He stared down into the stained bottom as it became an orange and white blur. He didn't respond to the insult but neither did he continue with his excuse. This irritated Rabbit and now he wanted to know what had kept Tigger thinking for so long. He grabbed the bowl back and stared Tigger in the eye when he reached for it.
"About what?" he asked.
"Bouncing of course!" Tigger lied, looking away as he did so. "I'm inventing a new super, duper, extra loopy, springy, high bounce!"
Rabbit narrowed his eyes momentarily but decided not to pursue the issue. He didn't want to send Tigger bouncing away now that he was back. He was lucky he hadn't with that snappy welcoming. He pushed the bowl back into his paws and pulled the covers up to his neck as he took it to the table. Tigger grabbed a chair on his way back and sat at his bedside, staring at Rabbit. He closed his eyes and tried to feign sleep. There was deep silence and the lack of motion beyond his lids was unnerving. He should be doing or saying something. Anything. Tigger couldn't sit still and quiet that long. It had to be some sort of miracle.
"Bunny Boy?" he whispered eventually.
"What?" Rabbit asked, opening his eyes again.
"I'll stay til you're better, kay?"
Rabbit stared into his eyes in silence. He wanted to tell him yes immediately but his better sense told him to think about it first. He would be glad to have Tigger take care of him until he was better but if he stayed it might aggravate those feelings again. It would worsen them. Rabbit sighed as he closed his eyes to Tigger's eager expression. Even as he nodded slowly he knew he would regret it. He turned his back to the source of his strange mixture of emotions as the nausea set in again but this wasn't the same. This nausea didn't come from physical illness. He felt a shiver run up his spine as Tigger pulled the covers over his shoulders again. This could not end well.