The Assessment

Fandom: Helluva Boss
Ship: Robo Fizz/Concord (OC)
Word Count: 1,347
Warnings: This story is generally sexual in nature. It also explores trauma and abuse, including sexual abuse and rape. This chapter does not yet explore any of these subjects but be aware it is an ever present theme.
Notes: Cog is the OC of tiny-security-mech over on tumblr.

First thing in the morning, Concord put in a call to a mechanic he knew of through a patient. She had a good reputation and he liked to use other imp businesses when he could. When she heard what he had, she cleared her morning schedule to come see it. Not that Concord hadn’t tried to convince her not to go through such trouble. But she seemed excited. 

He’d barely finished his morning coffee and fending off attempts at early morning fun from Fizzarolli (he really didn’t feel concerned about the validity of his consent now) when she knocked at the door. 

He opened it to reveal the reputed mechanical genius. Her black hair looked disheveled and she already had grease spots on her cheek. Wasn’t he her first customer? A pair of goggles hung around her neck and she wore dingy coveralls and big boots. He started to put a hand out for her to shake but thought better of it with one glance at her dirty gloves. 


“Cog,” she responded, moving right by him, toolbox in hand as she made for Fizzarolli. He bowed to her as she circled him. “Oh, man, where did you get this thing?” 

“The pawnshop down the street.”

“I pass that place all the time. I never noticed it before. You’d think they’d put something this nice out front. I know he’s probably not fully functional but he can’t be that bad off. And this is a higher quality model, too. Custom-ordered.” 

“Really? How can you tell?”

Fizzarolli aimed a wink at Concord as Cog turned to face him, holding one of Fizzarolli’s hands out and gesturing. 

“Look at him. This isn’t mass-produced stuff. It’s quality material.” 

Fizzarolli seemed to be enjoying all this praise and attention. He spun Cog, using the hand holding his, into a tight embrace. 

“Th-thanks, toots. You know, for a pr-pr-price, I bet he’d rent me out to you.” 

Cog turned red enough it stood out even against her skin and her eyes darted from Fizzarolli to Concord. 

“Fizzarolli, no! I….will not rent you out.” 

“Aw, I’m ssssorry sweetheart-eart, looks like my master’s possessive.” 

He spun her away and used his good arm to grab Concord and pull him in to replace her.

“Please, don’t call me master. That’s I...meant...”

While Concord was distracted by Fizzarolli’s lusty gaze, leaning in for a kiss, the jester’s good arm looped around and behind them to find the hem of Cog’s shirt, lifting it slowly. Until a hand smacked it away. He looked over his shoulder in surprise to find the formerly flustered imp laser focused on his innards. He tried coming at her from another angle but she slapped his hand again without looking away. 

“Looks like she likes work more than she likes you,” Concord teased.

Fizzarolli grinned, giving Concord his full attention now. He lifted him and drew him in closer, tongue flicking over his neck as he went in for a love bite. Concord leaned away as best he could.

“Uh uh.” 

“You’re no-no-no fun when other people are arooound.” 

“The more cooperative you are, the faster she leaves.” 

Fizzarolli’s grin returned in full force. 

“And then?” 

Concord wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled himself close to whisper. He was interrupted in his bribery when Cog spoke out.

“Sssh! I’m working and that’s...very distracting.” 


Concord felt a little giddy at being so playful with Fizzarolli in front of someone. Fizzarolli set him down and sat still as half of Cog practically disappeared into his back. Well, mostly still. He kept himself entertained making lewd faces at Concord the whole time.

When Cog finally returned from her deep dive, Concord let out a laugh he’d been holding in and she looked confused. Until Fizzarolli turned and stuck a wriggling tongue out between two fingers at her. She went flush again and backed up. 

“Sorry. I’m really sorry. That’s...very inappropriate.” 

Concord cleared his throat as he tried to regain his professional demeanor but he just kept laughing. 

“He’s like six feet of inappropriate,” she responded, writing on a clipboard rapidly. “All right, here's the itemized list. I hope you didn’t spend too much on this thing because with all he has wrong, you might as well have bought a mass produced one.” 

Concord took the list and looked over it. It was nearly a page long and many of the repairs had very large numbers next to them. 

“I suggest you start with the voice box. That’s a wiring issue. It’s the cheapest thing on the list and I can do that today if you want.” 

“Yeah, let’s get that done, please. And when I have the money we should fix his arm next.” 

“Are you sure? The next cheapest repair is-” 

He shook his head as she started to point it out. 

“I’m not prioritizing by cost. I want it done in order of most improvement to quality of life. Can you figure that out for me?” 

“Sure, but there are a few of these you’ll have to ask him about. It depends on how essential he thinks certain components and features are whether or not you even want them restored. That tentacle mode is all messed up, for example. It’s the most expensive repair. Someone did a real number on it. Whole parts were just ripped out and that damaged the structure around it. You shouldn’t let him take too many hits to the chest, and I wouldn’t let him go through the washing machine. Otherwise he should be fine for now. I can either restore it which is this much or simply stabilize the frame which is much less.”

She indicated each price as she spoke. Concord couldn’t really pay attention to numbers right now. His vision had gone blurry at the thought of such violence against something that couldn’t defend itself. Something that depended on you. Even here in Hell there had to be a line. Or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself. 

“Cog, thank you for working with me on the prices. I know you have to make a living too.” 

“It’s no problem, Doc. Just don’t forget to send my cousin that pass on her anger management classes. And please do not actually try to talk to her.” 

Concord cleared his throat and tapped the papers she’d given him against the table.

“I had no intention of doing so.”

“Mm hm. But, honestly, I just don’t want anyone else working on him. I don’t get to work on something this high quality often. Thanks for the chance. Although I am gonna have to go outside my normal means to find some of these parts.” 

“If that costs extra, I’ll pay it. You don’t have to check with me. I trust you to get it done for the best price.” 

Cog gave him a shy smile before returning to Fizzarolli. She had been right about how simple the repair to his voice box was or she was so good she made it look simple. In only a few minutes she had the faulty wiring replaced and stood back.

“There you go. Try it out for me.” 

Fizzarolli put a hand to his chest and made a sound as if clearing his throat before letting out a low moan. 

“Ohh Concord. You’re sooo good. Harder!”

Both imps' eyes went wide as he started trying out different moans. Concord shoved Cog’s toolbox and a fistful of money at her. 

“Okay, thanks for coming. We’ll see you again soon. Bye.” 

Concord pushed her out the door to the sound of Fizzarolli’s untarnished laughter. As embarrassing as that was, that laughter made Concord smile from ear to ear. He’d taken the first step in improving Fizzarolli’s life. It felt good. It felt like he could make the world a little better for at least one person. It felt hands on his horns. He tilted his head up to find Fizzarolli looming over him with a salacious grin. 

“I suppose you want your reward for sitting still.”