Doubt and Uncertainty
Fandom: 9
Characters: Scientist and 5
Word Count: 1,277
Warnings: None
Notes: AU a bit in that 5 goes off to find 2 but finds 9 instead.
I have failed once more. I am not certain what went wrong with my previous test. I allowed no emotion to consume me as I extracted my soul, yet these two delightful doppelgangers seem to be more childish and loveable than 2. They keep themselves in my library, which I have not frequented since the beginning of the war, and enjoy one another's company more than 1 or 2's. I am pleased with them as I observe their behavior, but when alone, contemplating my next attempt, I worry greatly. I cannot help but feel a failure all together. Three attempts with such little progress have weakened my confidence –what little I once possessed. I feel that my soul is the cause of such failure, and I will continue to fail no matter what I try. I have become lackluster and morose, my fingers passing over the buttons of my new creation idly as I debate whether or not to try again. Quitting, however, is a fleeting thought caused by depression. I know I cannot possibly give up on humanity, having personally caused its end. I stand from my armchair and present my fourth attempt to the soul-sucking machine – an affront to God in its own right – with doubt still clouding my mind. I am tired and cannot rid myself of this feeling. Yet, I cannot linger in this uncertainty. The war does not fare well. We lose ground each day. I have no time to wait for a brightening of mood that may never come again. I push the button, and I know I have corrupted yet another of my godforsaken children. I'm afraid the poor soul that must live his life in this cloudy fog of indecision is worse off than the fear-inflicted 1.
5 scurried behind a rusty can and tried to crawl inside. It was cut in half and the many holes that had rusted into the top provided little cover. He quickly peered out, hugging his crossbow to his chest as he glanced around for any sign of danger before running to a more suitable hiding place beneath a crumpled street sign. He sighed in relief as he rested for a moment in the cool, dark shade. 2 would have said he was overreacting, considering he was still close to the area deemed safe by 1. 2 wandered this area without fear, whistling sometimes at his discoveries. But 5 could not be like 2. He refused to take one step past the border between safe and forbidden. 5 always waited for him at the border, but today he had not returned. This caused the already uncertain 5 to become somewhat frantic. Nothing had been different about their search, nothing he could pinpoint. There had only been this sense of foreboding. 5's mind continuously told him to turn back, but he always felt this way about wandering around outside. He could not have known he would finally be right.
5 took a deep breath and looked out to the land considered unsafe. He looked back in the opposite direction. He could still see home from here. That meant it was safe, right? Right? He gulped as he thought of 2 out there, possibly in danger. He had already passed the border in his fear, and now it drove him to do something previously unthinkable in such an area. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He swallowed and tried again.
"Two!" he shouted out into the open, eerie landscape. "Two, come back! Please, come back!"
5 slammed his back against the sign before he'd even finished calling out to 2. It had been hours since he had left 5 standing at the border. He wouldn't be able to hear him at the distance he had traveled, yet 5 was too frightened to go any further. He was at his limit as it was, passing into dangerous territory. He waited another hour or so, but could take the intense fear that set upon his heart no longer. He turned to look once again, but did not see any sign of movement from beyond the horizon. He had hoped – he could picture – 2 hauling something valuable over that horizon with a smile at 5's needless worrying. He looked again. Please, let him be there. There was only a slight dust cloud kicked up by the breeze. 5 sighed and turned to look back at his sanctuary. He had to go back. He had to get help from someone stronger, someone more certain than he. 8. He needed 8 to accompany him, though he would need 1's permission to borrow 8, and he knew that would never happen.
How he wished 7 were still with them. She wouldn't hesitate to dart out into the most forbidden places to save any one of them, including 1. But, then again, this was the attitude that had gotten her killed to begin with, wasn't it? Should he mimic her bravado and get himself killed to save 2, who could already be dead, or should he follow his own gut instinct and return to the only safety he knew? As he struggled with himself, he slowly inched out from beneath the sign. He discovered he was inching forward, toward 2. His fear for 2 was winning out. Soon, he found himself running; running in fear, yes, but also in worry. The landscape became a blur, and 5 tried not to think of where he was heading as he rushed forward.
He began to lose a sense of distance and time, refusing to look back. He was afraid the church would be out of view if he did. This refusal to think for fear of losing the tiny bit of courage he had found caused him to be unaware of the lump of burlap that had spread out across his path. He tripped suddenly, but before he fell he caught sight of the brown material that made up most of them. He stood and smiled as he turned. Was it 2? His eye landed on the number on this fallen one's back. 9.
"Nine?" he asked, tilting his head slightly at the unfamiliar number.
His eye quickly zoomed in on the newcomer's injured arm. He looked around warily and gripped his crossbow. Something had caused that wound. He couldn't leave the newcomer alone, though his instincts told him to run. He was afraid to let his guard down long enough to hoist 9 onto his back, so he grabbed 9's uninjured arm and hastily went through a series of awkward movements that got him nowhere. He'd need both arms after all. Well, he had fought his fear this long to save 2. He could fight it a little longer. He slowly placed his crossbow on the ground, looking around cautiously before he continued. The moment 9 was on his back he stood and quickly turned in a circle. When he saw it was safe, he snatched his crossbow from the ground, looking back as he moved forward one step at a time. He would return to the sanctuary to repair this 9. Maybe 2 would return later. He took another long look at the horizon and tried to keep up his hope. Yes, 2 would return, and tell him what a great job he did repairing 9's arm. He took a few more steps forward, eye still trained on the horizon, before finally taking off at full speed. It didn't take long for the church to come back into sight, but 5 wasn't sure if the trek across the forbidden area was more frightening with home before him or behind him.