The Switch
Fandom: Helluva Boss
Ship: Robo Fizz/Concord (OC)
Word Count: 3,101
Warnings: This story is generally sexual in nature. It also explores trauma and abuse, including sexual abuse and rape. This chapter includes implications of sexual violence, the results of that violence, and depictions of depression.
Fizz walked back and forth across the room to find his keys before he left for work. He tried to ignore Concord’s sad eyes as they followed him, but it just wasn’t possible. He sat in the middle of his bed, bundled up in the covers, shoulders slumped, looking like a kicked puppy. Fizz clutched the keys as he found them.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“I can go back to work.”
His voice came out so weak and fragile. He couldn’t even take care of himself. How did he think he would be able to take care of other people? He wouldn’t even be eating if Fizz didn’t make sure of it. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, letting Concord come to him. He pushed the covers off his head and let his fingers glide over his cheek.
“We’ve been through this. This is what I’m built for. Let me take care of you now.”
Concord’s eyes watered. Fizz couldn’t stand it. Why wouldn’t he stop crying?
“Please, don’t leave me.”
He felt a pang of offense every time Concord did this. What did he do to make him think he’d even entertain the thought?
“I’m not leaving you, baby. I’m doing this for you. You have to eat. We have to pay rent.”
Concord let the covers slip off his shoulders as he rose up to hug his neck. Fizz returned it with a squeeze.
“Be safe.”
“There’s nothing out there that can hurt me in any way Cog can’t fix.”
Concord’s arms tightened around his neck and he buried his face in his shoulder with a short whine. Damn, he’d said it wrong. He kept saying things wrong. Somehow Concord had always known the right words for him. But Fizz only seemed to make things worse when he opened his mouth.
“Concord, I’ll be okay.” He pushed him back, giving him a quick kiss. “Get some rest. I’ll see you at breakfast.”
“Okay.”
He sounded so defeated. Fizz tucked him in before leaving for the night, hoping he’d actually get some sleep. He wished he could stay with him to make sure of it, but he had to keep his priorities practical. Once he had the door between them he breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to take care of Concord while he was broken. He just wasn’t as good at it as Concord had been for him. It made him feel like a failure. The only thing he could do to actually help was work and even that made Concord cry.
Fizz had no concern for his own safety when it came to random Johns. Sure, they could get rough with him, but he could handle that. The only true source of anxiety for him lay in the past. Making himself so visible on the streets meant risking Ahroth finding him again. The chances were infinitesimal, but any chance worried him when it came to a demon so determined to see him suffer.
He’d never worked the streets before this, but it seemed to come naturally to him for the most part. He had scouted out a good place for picking up clients and, with his face, he met with a lot of success. Love him or hate him, there were a lot of people who wanted to fuck Fizzarolli in some way. This made him a lot of money, but it also turned him back into an object to be abused.
The first night of this had shown him how much he appreciated Concord treating him like an equal. More than that, Concord treasured him, treated him like something precious. Which meant he had something to compare the pain and humiliation against when customers treated him poorly.
But he could shut his emotions off. He could shut his pain receptors off. And he could deal with the damage later. Or Cog could as it turned out more often than not. Tonight, one particularly large John had gotten too rough with him and fucked up his voice box. Fizz hadn’t let him get away without injury of his own, but now he had to spend some of his profit getting fixed. He hated that.
He wandered over to Cog’s apartment in the early morning, hoping she’d be awake. He couldn’t go home to Concord like this, but he didn’t want him to worry by coming home too late. So, he knocked a little louder and more incessantly than usual to make sure she heard him. When she answered the door, she did so with a jerk and an exasperated yell.
“What did you break this time, Alis-?!” She stopped when she saw him. “Fizz.”
“D-d-don’t t-t-t-telllllll Concorrrrrrrrrr-ord-ord-ord Iii-ii-iii...”
His voice glitched and clicked, static louder than his words. A single screech could be heard in the background noise as well, his head jerking in time to the skips as he held out a fist full of cash.
“No.” Cog stated firmly, raising a hand. “Shut up before you deafen me and get in here.”
She stepped aside and let him in, pointing towards her workstation. He went straight to his usual spot and settled in for the repair. She worked silently as he sat with his head down. He no longer tried to fluster her when he visited. Their relationship had grown a little since Concord broke. At first, he’d tried to ask Cog to help fix him. But she didn’t know how to fix imps. They both agreed it was a shame it couldn’t be as easy as fixing machines.
Cog rarely confused him. She seemed to him very practical and straightforward. And some things that confused him about people also confused her as far as he could tell. He liked the kinship he felt when they were alone. It was the only relationship he’d ever experienced that had nothing to do with sex.
She finished working on his voice box and closed him back up.
“Give it a try.”
“Thank you.”
His voice came out clear again and he turned an appreciative smile on her. But a current of frustration ran through Cog, her tone almost accusatory.
“How did you get broken again so soon? I just fixed you three days ago and a week before that.”
“Concord’s out of money. I had to start working the streets.”
Cog let it drop at that, putting her tools away. She had never been one to pry if Fizz didn’t offer more on his own.
“Cog.”
“Yeah?”
“He keeps crying. Are you sure there isn’t something I can do to stop it?”
“I don’t know, Fizz. That’s Concord’s job. Why don’t you find him another therapist to talk to?”
“He won’t see one. He said he can work through it himself.”
“Then I don’t know what to tell you. Wish I did. People are hard.”
Fizz knew she couldn’t help, but he had no one else to talk to about this. She was his only friend outside of Concord. And sometimes it just helped to have his thoughts heard.
“I think Concord has too many emotions. It makes him harder to fix.”
“I can’t say I disagree with that.”
“Softie,” Fizz muttered, but it came out more affectionate than anything. “I should get back to him before he wakes up.”
“I hope he feels better soon.”
“Me too.”
When Fizz got home, Concord still lay sleeping, his fists balled tight in the covers. So, he took the chance to clean himself up before sliding into bed with him. He wrapped the sad little imp up in his arms gently, trying not to wake him right away. He pressed his face into the hair between his horns as he tried to imagine how it would be when Concord fixed himself. He wanted things to go back to normal. He wanted the happy little life they’d been building together back.
Concord stirred and Fizz gave him a little room to turn in his arms, greeting him with his best smile as he blinked his eyes open.
“Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?”
“I slept okay.”
That meant he’d had nightmares, but it also told Fizz he’d slept enough to fall into a dream state.
“Do you want breakfast?”
He shook his head and buried his face in the pillow. Fizz kissed the top of his head, fingers tracing down his spine. Concord’s muffled voice came out timid and cautious.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” Fizz assured him. “Nothing bad happened.”
He wiggled further into his arms. Fizz held him close and felt the whole night just fade away. He wanted this calm to last forever. He let them both enjoy the closeness for a while, watching the early morning sun play across Concord’s skin and listening to his breathing as he curled up against him. But he had to make sure Concord ate.
“You gotta eat, baby.”
“I don’t wanna.”
“Please, Concord. Do it for me?”
He shook his head and Fizz had to hold in a sound of frustration. That usually worked. But when that failed, he turned to plan B. He coiled Concord up in one arm and simply carried him bodily to the kitchen, blanket and all. Concord held the blanket around him as Fizz deposited him in the seat. But after a moment, he simply flopped limply across the table.
Fizz let him lay there as he started cooking, a new skill he’d picked up by necessity. He thought he took to it quickly and Concord hadn’t complained after the first few times. Recipes weren’t exactly hard to memorize and he never had to repeat a mistake. He slid a plate next to Concord’s face when he’d finished and sat down next to him.
“Go ahead, eat it.”
“Mm mm.”
He shook his head and pulled the covers up over his mouth as if Fizz might try to force feed him. Well, if he wanted to play it that way Fizz had no choice but to break out the big guns. He kneeled on the floor next to Concord’s chair and fished his hand out of the blankets. He kissed his fingers gently, one at a time, before turning his eyes up to Concord’s. He adjusted the lighting in his eyes until what passed as pupils were easily visible against a dimmer backdrop. He made them wider and more innocent.
“Please, Concord? Eat? It’s important to me. I worry about you.”
He’d learned how well he could manipulate Concord with his eyes after he’d complimented them, and he’d picked up some of Concord’s own vocabulary for expressing his concern in a way that made sense to the therapist. This combination had yet to fail. Concord’s eyes teared up again, but he blinked them back.
“Okay.”
Fizz laid his head in Concord’s lap while he ate, fingers tracing over his leg lightly from time to time. He could have gotten up, but this part of the not too uncommon ritual was for his own enjoyment. He just wanted to stay in contact with his Concord without impeding his meal. A hand rested on his head after a while and he looked up. Concord showed him his empty plate to prove he’d eaten it all.
Fizz took it from him and extended his arm to place it in the sink so he wouldn’t have to leave Concord’s side. He enjoyed the feeling of his hand running over his head and he could sense that he wanted to have an open and honest conversation. He’d learned to see these breakthroughs coming, picking up on subtle body language and eye movements.
“Thank you. For being here for me. I know I’m being difficult.”
“A little,” Fizz agreed, letting that aura of honesty he exuded drag him in. “But I don’t mind. I just wish I knew what to say to fix you. Like you knew what to say to me.”
“You can’t fix me, Fizz. I don’t want you to think that’s your responsibility. You’re already doing more than I could ever ask of you. I don’t want to overburden you. I don’t like that you have to...work. I don’t like that you have to make me eat. I don’t want it to be this way.”
“I miss how we were before,” he admitted and it felt nice to let it out.
“Me too. These things just take time. When your entire identity is broken in one day.... I just need time.”
Fizz sat up and ghosted his lips over Concord’s as if he might break more if he pushed too hard. Concord let him but didn’t really return the gesture. Fizz’s hands rested on his shoulders, his voice sincere.
“Take all the time you need. I’m not leaving, I promise.”
A single tear rolled down Concord’s cheek.
“I’m sorry I keep saying that. That’s not fair to you. I’m just very vulnerable right now. I’m so scared of pushing you away with this. Of being alone.”
“You’re not.” Fizz pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
Concord’s fingers curled against his back, the fabric of his tunic twisted up in his fists, breath coming in short bursts between his words.
“Thank you for everything you’re doing, Fizz. I know it’s not easy. And I’m trying. I’m trying so hard. But I realized, I’m trying for you. Because I want to be with you. And I can’t convince myself to try for me.”
Fizz didn’t really understand the difference and Concord didn’t elaborate. He ran his hand up and down his back as the crying started again. Wasn’t it enough to try at all? Would telling him that help or make things worse? Why did navigating emotions have to be like defusing a bomb?
As he tried to work that puzzle out, a muffled, teary voice came from his chest.
“I love you, Fizz.”
His internal processes stopped momentarily. Everything stopped. He couldn’t speak. Concord buried his face even further into his embrace.
“I love you so much.”
Fizz felt a panic send his workings racing back into action. What did he say to that? How did an AI determine whether or not he felt real love? Would Concord know the difference between real and simulated love? If Fizz went along with this, would Concord just see what he wanted to see or would Fizz hurt him when he discovered the truth? That Fizz had no idea what love even meant.
He did the only thing he knew for sure Concord wanted and said it back.
“I love you, too.”
Concord turned his wet face up to him, disbelief clear in his eyes.
“Really?”
“Of course. Why do you think I’m working so hard for you?”
Concord beamed like the sun and it filled Fizz with hope. Of course! The key to fixing Concord had been there all along. He had been built to meet the desires of his owner. If he just let his base programming take over and gave him what he wanted, Concord would be happy again.
And right now, Concord wanted to be loved. He wanted tenderness. Fizz could do that. He leaned down and kissed him, soft and gentle. Concord reciprocated this time, parting for only a moment before coming back in for more. Concord pulled away after a few more to gaze into his eyes, and Fizz brushed a thumb over his lips.
“There’s that beautiful smile.”
“I’ve been so scared to tell you,” Concord whispered as if speaking too loudly would break the moment.
“You don’t have to be scared to tell me anything, my love.”
Concord started crying again which only confused Fizz though everything seemed to these days. He carefully kept his confusion hidden and waited patiently for it to pass. Concord rubbed his face with the covers as the tears dried up. And now only the joy remained.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life.”
Fizz’s expression became more genuine and this time he didn’t have to lie at all.
“That’s all I want. To make you happy.”
Concord captured his lips in a passionate kiss, arms around his neck, pulling him down into it. Fizz let Concord set the pace. He didn’t want to move too fast. But they hadn’t had sex in weeks and even though he’d been getting it eslewhere, it wasn’t the same. He wanted Concord again, his sweet little imp, his favorite plaything.
Even if he didn’t know if he could feel real love himself, he could certainly feel Concord’s washing over him. And that love made him feel special. It made him feel important. He liked that. Because in all honesty, he wasn’t. He existed as no more than another variation of the great Fizzarolli - a broken one at that.
As the kiss ended, Concord held his face in his hands, staring deep into his eyes, conviction filling every syllable as he spoke.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thank you so much for choosing me.”
His Concord could be so dramatic, but Fizz found it adorable and that lit up his face as he replied.
“I wouldn’t have anyone else.”
Concord kissed him again and Fizz ramped up the intensity, wanting more. He ran his hands down Concord’s sides, fingers slipping around his hips. He wanted to pull him into the floor and fuck him so bad. But Concord gave him a shy look as he pulled back to breathe. As he spoke, Fizz’s hands paused in their wandering, resting on his thighs.
“Will you make love to me?”
Fizz wanted it the way they’d been before, but those words made it clear he needed something softer right now, something tender and loving. So, he put his own desires aside as he’d become accustomed to once more. But he didn’t mind this time. If Concord wanted sweet and boring, he deserved it.
It turned out to be the most vanilla sex he’d ever had, but he still enjoyed the way Concord looked at him the whole time. As if Fizz were his sole reason for living, his everything. It felt good to know someone could love him that much and that his mere existence could bring Concord so much happiness.
But the validity of his own love became a nagging anxiety. The discovery of his fraud so large and imposing it resided next to his fear of Ahroth. Concord could never know he had any doubts. It could break him beyond repair and that scared Fizz more than anything.