An Unconventional Date

Fandom: Helluva Boss
Ship: Loona/Sallie May
Word Count: 1,335
Warnings: Sexual violence against the trans community is mentioned here but with justice being dealt.

Loona showed up to meet Sallie May outside the club she’d suggested, but didn’t see her anywhere. She had her phone out, trying to text her but all her texts went unread. She scanned the crowd of patrons waiting to get in, looking for any sign of the wrath imp, but no luck. Then her ears pricked up and swiveled like satellite dishes. 

A whistle just low enough to be covered by the noisy crowd sounded, only other Hellhounds responding to it in confusion. Loona turned and followed it to the alley next to the club where Sallie May stood. 

“Hey, girl.” 

God, how did she look cool hiding behind a fuckin’ dumpster? 

“I tried to text you, but..”

“Girl, you don’t bring yer phone on a date like this. You might as well be wearin’ a trackin’ device.” 

Uh oh. Loona hadn’t realized she was going on a date with a conspiracy nut. She should have known there had to be something wrong with her. 

“ you care if the phone companies know you’re gay or…?” 

Sallie May laughed. 

“Hell, no. We ain’t goin’ in there. I got more excitin’ plans for tonight. Gotta throw off Mildred and your Pa.” 

“He’s not my pa ,” Loona deadpanned. 

Besides, Blitz didn’t even know she was out with Sallie May at all. That was a fight she’d save for later when he found out through Millie apparently. 

“Fair enough. Come on, let's find somewhere to hide that phone of yers.” 

Loona clutched her phone to her chest and put her ears back. 

“Somewhere safe,” Sallie May amended. “It’s not welded to yer hand, is it?” 

Sallie May searched out a public locker at a bus station to drop Loona’s phone off in. It took a few tries to actually let go of it, but Sallie May was very convincing. She gave her one of those cool smiles and slipped up beside her, sliding her side against Loona’s as she did so, head back as their eyes met. The phone dropped from her hand with a clatter and Sallie May slammed the door shut, locking it. 

“Where are we going and why can’t I have my phone?” Loona demanded as she followed her out of the bus station. 

Her arms were crossed as she became keenly aware that she didn’t really know what to do with her hands without her phone. Sallie May stopped and put her hand on a hip. 

“You work for a killin’ business, right?” 

“Uh yeah.” 

Loona didn’t know what that had to do with anything. 

“But that Pa of yers-” 

Loona shot her a look. 

“Yer boss, from what I hear, don’t let you do much of the killin.” 

“Yeah, so?”

“That’s a waste of them pearly whites if you ask me,” Sallie May said with a wink. “So, tonight, I’m lettin’ you do the killin’ and I’ll hide the bodies.” 

“Dude, really?” 

“Oh, yeah, baby. I gotta see what you can do.”

Loona’s tail started wagging as she trailed after Sallie May, excitement actually showing on her face. Maybe she should have asked more questions about who they were killing and why, but honestly, who gave a fuck? She let the wrath imp lead her through the party district and into a seedier part of the city. Blitz would flip if he knew she was here. 

“Here’s the plan. I got a meetin’ set up with these fuckers. Don’t worry bout why. All you gotta do is stand next to me and look good.” 

Was this a date or did Sallie May just ask her out to play the part of a Hellhound guard? 

“When I do this..” Loona’s ire at that possibility vanished when a finger slid up the back of her thigh lightly. “You let loose.” 

“Let loose?” 

“Yeah, baby, just let loose. Rip 'em up. Get primal.” 

“Uh...okay. Sure.” 

Loona stood next to Sallie May at the door, trying her best to look tough which really just looked like her normal aloof stance with a slight snarl. They were let in by a somewhat taller imp, closer to Blitz’s height. He glanced around them on either side before leading them into the dark building. Loona wouldn’t admit to it but she started feeling a little uncomfortable. This was shady as fuck. What the hell was Sallie May getting them into? 

They were taken into a room where another six imps waited, milling about around a table where a much larger demon sat. Loona couldn’t identify what he was, but he loomed over the others, wrapped in robes and a cloak. She could only make out two pairs of shining red eyes in the hood. Shit, what was this, some kinda mafia? 

Sallie May stopped at the end of the table, looking no less her aloof self in the presence of this mob. She put a hand on her hip and looked the mysterious demon up and down. 

“Hey big boy. Nice to meet ya.” 

“You’re not as tall as I expected,” the booming voice responded.

“Don’tchya worry about that, baby. For what I lack in height, I make up for in feistiness, ain’t that right, bitch?” 

Loona stiffened as Sallie May slapped her ass.

“Uh. Yeah.” 

The mysterious figure laughed. 

“She’s here as part of the audition, I presume.” 

“Oh, yeah. How’m I supposed to show ya the goods if I ain’t got nothing to use em on?” 

Loona looked confused for a moment before Sallie May put a hand on her back and pushed her to the table. Loona froze as Sallie May’s hands ran down her sides and cupped her ass. Okay what the hell? Felt nice and all, but what the - Oh and now she was….pretending to grind against her? Loona blushed as all eyes in the room turned to them. 

Sallie May bent over her briefly, hand slipping down between her legs. Loona shivered as her finger slid up her thigh. Oh, right, the sign. As soon as Sallie May felt her tense, she leapt over Loona and straight at the mysterious demon, a knife drawn from her shorts while he was distracted by the show. Loona turned her attention on the smaller imps and they scattered as she ripped into the throat of the nearest one. 

By the time they were done the room was littered with bodies and Loona was staring at Sallie May as she returned to the body of the big demon. She kicked it repeatedly and gave it a few more stabs. 

“So, uh, before we clean up. What the hell?” Loona demanded. 

“Sex traffickin ring,” Sallie May spit on the body. “They target a very specific population.” 

She pointed to her horns with a raised eyebrow. Took Loona a moment longer than she liked to get the hint. 

“Oh. Damn. What the fuck?” 

“Right? They say it’s auditions fer porn, but once they get ya in, ya don’t come out. I had to expand my killin’ territory anyways, so I might as well take out some trash while I’m at it.” 

“Yeah, Fuck those assholes. But you could have warned me. Shit.” 

Sallie May grinned at her wickedly. 

“Where’s the fun in that?”  

She sidled up to her and put a finger to her chin, turning those cool eyes on her. 

“Ya mad?” 

Loona scoffed but then couldn’t help but smile. Something about that faux innocence on Sallie May’s face amused her. She blushed and looked off to the side, hands shoved into pockets.

“No. Just. Warn me next time. Damn.” 

“Good. Cause we got three more of their meetups to take out. And we gotta do it fast. Grab a body.” 

Loona watched the wrath imp as she dragged the much larger demon to the center of the room. Damn, she was cool. She wiped some blood from her muzzle before hurrying to help her. She’d never been on a date before, but she was pretty sure this was the coolest one she’d ever have.